Hate it...

Feel as exhausted as I can possibly be... Both physically and mentally... :/ not good....
I've got to cut something off...

Christmas

Boring as usual, Dad was being argumentative so I just sat in my room alone :/

Idiot!

Went out drinking and stupidly sent a message to the guy I like about him.... Not good! Think he was to drunk to figure it out tho! Fewww!!

Tattoo

Got my tattoo :)
Had it for 4 days now :D
It's not sore or swollen, and didn't scab :)

It's 7 stars joined together by lines, each star represents a family member! Designed it myself :D

Hayy!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while! Been REALLY busy!! :D
Here's an update of the last couple of months...

Eczema cleared up, believe it was due to stress of my first job.
Back at sixth form and working well!
I turned 18 whilst I've been gone!! I've been 18 for 36 days :)
I also got a tattoo!! :D Cost £50 and hurt a little, but only in certain places (closer to the knee)
Also my BFASA also got a job at the same place as me! She has yet to start her training, but I can't wait! :D x

Doctors

I'm currently sat in the doctors, why I hear you asking!?

I'm a long term sufferer of both Asthma and Eczema, hate them both :/
My asthma hasn't been too bad recently, and the same with my Eczema. However in the last 2-3 weeks it has suddenly flared up again... And it hurts... :'/

:/

Feeling horrible about myself atm... :/

I'm just a fat, hairy, eczema covered 18 year old girl who just scares everyone because my shyness comes off as a horrible 'do not approach me' air...

My hormones must be out of wack!

First job!

Sat eating lunch after my induction for my new and first paid job!! Training after lunch! :D

....??

How come I always seem to want those who never want me....
Well actually that's probably every person on this rock we call home.

Diet!

I recently decided to go on a diet as I'm not happy with my lifestyle!
Started it on 2nd June, and weigh myself every Sunday!

Starting weight: 13 stone 9 pounds

9th June: 13 stone 5.5 pounds

Trapped

Another story, this one was coursework for my GCSE English:

In the last moments before death, your life will flash before your eyes. I was once told this by someone I cherish. It's true. I figured this out as I felt the murky river water gurgle down my throat and fill my lungs, my eyes felt heavy, I couldn't breath. Trapped.

The first flashback was of when I was five, in my first home, small, with only six other children excluding myself. Unfortunately for me, I was eldest and this home only catered for children ages one to five, I knew I would leave soon, and this wasn't my last move.

Suddenly I flashed back to the day I was left there on the doorstep, a small three year old. At the time I didn't know she was leaving my there forever, I believed that she didn't want to leave me and that, eventually, she would come back for me. I'll never forget her back as it faded away.

Next I jumped forward to when I was 9 and I was stood on my primary school play ground at the end of the day, watching all the children running towards their mothers and fathers. I remember the boy who stood next to me, he was only 6 and had joined our home recently. He looked defeated. A feeling came over me and I remember very clearly turning towards him, and saying “lets go and find 'our family'” he grasped my hand so tightly then beamed a smile towards me, it was the first I had seen him smile since he had moved. He caused me to smile. Kain grew up like my little brother and, me, like his big sister. That little boy's smile will never be erased from my memory.

I flashed to the day I had to leave the second home and a 9 year old Kain and how he said “I'll never forget you!” I remember how much we both cried, how red his chubby cheeks got. Even how as I left he chased the car for as long as he could as I was driven away, and, even now, I still have that homes number in my memory as if was printed there.

I next jumped forward to a 15 year old me, I was sat at the back of my English class, feet on the desk and leaning against the wall on two legs. Our teacher had set us the task of writing a essay on a typical week at home, of course this was easily done – well for 'normal' kids anyway. I just sat and drew in the back of my book, personally I have always preferred to express myself in art, rather than speech. I'll always remember the regular detentions with Miss Heather.

Now an image 3 years on, this was the day I found her... my mother. I was in my forth home now, I was in my room, decorating my walls as I pleased. I had drawn everything I cherished, including the woman who left me on the doorstep, 15 years ago. I heard a knock on the door, it was a social worker. He looked concerned. He raised his head “We've found her. She is ill and is in her last days, and has requested to see you, but the final decision is completely up to you. So? What do you want to do?” of course I accepted. I hadn't seen this woman in 15 years, and she wasn't what I expected. She looked unbelievably pale and frail, like an old lady. It turned out that all she wanted to say was that she was sorry and how, on her death bed, her whole life was flashing before her eyes. I stayed that night, the night she died.

Finally, I flashed to only minutes before, on the road above from where I currently struggled. I was on my way home in my truck and I was crying so much, tears for a women I never knew. “Sorry my darling. Sorry for everything!” I suddenly lost control and spinning off towards the river. Splash! I could feel the freezing water fill the cabin, I prepared myself to be with her one last time...

In the last moments before death, your life will flash before your eyes. I was once told this by someone I cherish. It's true.

Story

This is a paragraph from a random story I began to write ages ago! I believe it was based on a dream i had after reading a shoujo manga! :L

'This feeling was like a dream to her...
 

They were spinning around for an eternity! Music drifting through the 

air, as if it was miles away. Her heart pounded even more with every 

step taken around the dance floor. Leaning her ear against his chest,

hearing another pounding heart beat. Thump, thump, thump! Her cheeks 

flushed into a bright red.
 

This feeling was unusual to her, it was foreign to her body. Why was 

this appearing now? And whilst with this person? This foreign feeling 

shouldn't have been within her heart while spinning around the dance 

floor with her body so close to his! It shouldn't have surfaced because

of him, especially not because of him! Why...? Why wouldn't her heart 

stop pounding?'

Tattoo

I believe I'm defiantly going for this! Either on my wrist or shoulder!! :D

All single lined! (reduced pain!) :L

Tattoo

I think I know what tattoo I'm going to get for my 18th birthday!
Either the symbol for eternity (Charmed style) with the words "life isn't 4 eternity" written small underneath on my wrist, or "life is an awfully big adventure" written up the carf of my left leg!
Can't wait till September!! :D